Incoherent Scribblings

The Awful German Language

“A person who has not studied German can form no idea of what a perplexing language it is.”

While browsing through my unabridged Mark Twain looking for his reference to the Loreley, I came across his hysterical essay entitled “The Awful German Language.” For someone who spent the past two years methodically learning German and who is still attempting to perfect her language skills, this essay provided some welcome absurdity to an otherwise nerve-racking task.

On Rules of Grammar

…and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, “Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions.”

– I have pages of exceptions!

On Compound Words

…constructed by the writer on the spot, and not to be found in any dictionary.

– I actually like being able to make up words as I go along, it takes some of the stress of finding the exact word.

On Trenbares Verben (Separable Verbs)

…the wider the two potions of one of them is spread apart, the better the author of the crime is pleased with his performance.

– Once you have struggled to locate the entire verb in a German sentence, you know that the person who thought up these separable verbs had a wicked sense of humor.

On Personal Pronouns

sie -> you, she, her, it, they, them

Think of the ragged poverty of a language which has to make one word do the work of six

– So who exactly am I talking about now?!

On Gender

Every noun has a gender, and there is no sense or system in the distribution; each must be learned separately and by heart.

– Memorize, Memorize, Memor… what was that again?

In German, a young lady [Mädchen] has no sex [neutral; das], while a turnip [Rübe] has [feminie, die].

– Go figure!

[Even after learning the gender] he is still in a difficulty because he finds it impossible to refer to things as ‘he’ and ’she’ and ‘him’ and ‘her,’ which he has always been accustomed to refer to as ‘it.’

– I couldn’t have said it better myself.

In the essay Twain also has a very entertaining and exact explanation of Case Declination which anyone who has ever struggled with German can not fail to appreciate.

Virtues of German (according to Twain)

Capitalization of nouns

Spelling a word according to sound

In conclusion…

…a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronunciation) in 30 hours, French in 30 days, and German in 30 years.

– Well, I guess I only have (being an exceptionally gifted person) 28 more years to go then!

— all quotes in this post are attributed to the great Mark Twain

read the full text of “The Awful German Language”

Loreley

In order to fully appreciate the following, you must first know a couple of trivial facts about me. First of all, I have long blonde hair. And second of all, I have been known to spend a large amount of time brushing said hair. And I am not being vain here, but truthfully put, I have hair that many women “dye” for…

“According to German legend, there was once a beautiful young maiden, named Lorelei, who threw herself headlong into the river in despair over a faithless lover. Upon her death she was transformed into a siren and could from that time on be heard singing on a rock along the Rhine River, near St. Goar. Her hypnotic music lured sailors to their death. The legend is based on an echoing rock with that name near Sankt Goarshausen, Germany.”
–from the Encyclopedia Mythica

The Lorelei (English Version)
by Heinrich Heine, 1823
(note: English version NOT translated by me)

I cannot tell why this imagined
Sorrow has fallen on me
The ghost of an unburied legend
That will not let me be.

The air is cool, and twilight
Flows from the quiet Rhine;
A mountain alone in the high light
Catches the faltering shire.

One rosy peak half gleaming
Reveals, enthroned in air,
A goddess lost in dreaming
Who combs her golden hair.

With a golden comb she is combing
Her hair as she sings a song;
Heard and reheard in the gloaming
It hurries the night along.

The boatman has heard what has bound him
In throes of a strange, wild love.
He is blind to the reefs that surround him,
Who sees but the vision above.

And lo, the wild waters are springing -
The boat and the boatman are gone…
Then silence. And this with her singing,
The Lorelei has done.

Die Lorelei (German Version)

Ich weiß nicht, was soll es bedeuten,
daß ich so traurig bin;
ein Märchen aus alten Zeiten,
das kommt mir nicht aus dem Sinn.

Die Luft ist kühl und es dunkelt,
und ruhig fließt der Rhein;
der Gipfel des Berges funkelt
im Abendsonnenschein.

Die schönste Jungfrau sitzet
dort oben wunderbar,
ihr goldnes Geschmeide blitzet,
sie kämmt ihr goldenes Haar.

Sie kämmt es mit goldenem Kamme,
und singt ein Lied dabei;
das hat eine wundersame,
gewaltige Melodei.

Den Schiffer im kleinen Schiffe
ergreift es mit wildem Weh;
er schaut nicht die Felsenriffe,
er schaut nur hinauf in die Höh.

Ich glaube, die Wellen verschlingen
am Ende Schiffer und Kahn;
und das hat mit ihrem Singen
die Lorelei getan.

So anyway, A.’s family lives very near the Loreley and ever since I have known him he has teased me about brushing my hair like Loreley. We have traveled by the Loreley rock a few times on the train, but had never stopped there. However, this past weekend we did.

A. was going to take my picture on the rock brushing my hair, but it was so windy that my hair got trapped in the brush and the whole idea didn’t work too well. I did take some photos of the Loreley Cliff/Rock and some of the Rhine Valley from the top of the cliff though. However, since I have yet to make the transition to the digital camera age, the pictures will have to be developed and then scanned before you may enjoy them. However, you can see someone else’s photos of the Loreley area and the Rhine Valley or find out more about the Loreley Legend here.

This n’ That

Well, I managed to survive the visit with my mother-in-law (we actually got along fairly well this time) and A. and I came home with a whole car-load full of loot too!

The weather in Munich has gone plumb crazy today! Last week it was so warm I was starting to think about pulling the lounge chair out onto the balcony so that I could sunbathe and my Johnny Jump-ups were perky and enjoying the sunny weather. This morning I woke up and it was trying to snow! Ahhh! I guess spring has been back-ordered.

Tomorrow I will have been married for two years. I can’t believe how the time flies! It seems to me that A. and I were just enjoying our first vacation together in sunny and humid New Orleans the other day. Now we are just an old married couple who enjoy going out to dinner, but when sitting across from one another at the restaurant table, don’t have anything to say to each other…
Don’t get me wrong, A. and I have a great marriage, but when you are with someone everyday, there reaches a point when there isn’t much more to say.

I did learn over the weekend however, that A. wore braces when he was a pre-teen. This was news to me… and I thought I knew everything there was to know about him. I wonder what other deep secrets from his childhood I have yet to discover…

In-Laws!

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to visit the in-laws I go!

My mother-in-law and I got off on the wrong foot nearly two years ago. It wasn’t my fault, really. I came to Germany with my husband of six-weeks and at the time spoke no German. My mother-in-law speaks no English, so from the beginning we had communication problems. In addition, our personalities are, to put it mildly, VERY different and since we couldn’t communicate very well (A. was a horrible translator!) our first contact (which lasted six weeks while we - A. and I - found a place to live) was strained, to say the least.

But today, I am in a good mood and every time we go for a visit my German is better, so I am hoping to mend some fences and maybe learn to cook a couple of Austrian dishes in the mean time! Wish me luck…

The Darkness and Labyrinth

Today I bought The Darkness’s CD “Permission to Land.” I gotta to say, “I love it!” I was (and still am) a big fan of 80s Pop Metal/Hair Bands, whatever you want to call it, and The Darkness is taking me back in time. I haven’t liked a band with hair, leather, and makeup so much since I was 17.

On another, multimedia note, I also bought the DVD of my favorite movie of all time today, Labyrinth. If you haven’t seen this movie, it stars David Bowie as the Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly (a LONG time before she won an Oscar) as Sarah. It also has Jim Henson puppets in it.

My favorite parts of the movie include:

David Bowie as the Goblin King
– Damn he looks fine!

The song “Magic Dance”

The story (Sarah has to rescue her baby brother after she wishes him away)
– Oh, how many times I wished my baby sister away…