Incoherent Scribblings

A while back I saw a preview for that documentary called “Super Size Me.” Honestly, I have no desire to see the movie, but from what I understand one of the rules of his little experiment was that when he was ordering his food, if someone asked him if he wanted to “Super Size” he had to say yes.

In a round-about way, that reminded me of something from my waitress days that we referred to as “up-selling.” I worked at Chain Restaurant ABC for about 2 1/2 years. When I began, I had to go through a training program and after you learned the basics of waiting tables, you had a session about “up-selling” as a way to maximize your tips (and the restaurant’s profits).

As I am sure the majority of my readers know, in America, waitresses/waiters (the politically correct term is “server,” but I always referred to myself as a waitress) essentially work for tips. I haven’t waited tables for almost 8 years, but in 1996 (God! has it really been that long?!), the hourly wage of a waitress was between $2.25 and $3.75. As you can plainly see, in order to make the job worth while, obviously a waitress wants tips. A good waitress (meaning you are willing to work hard and give good service) usually makes pretty good tips and can turn waiting tables into a fairly profitable job.

Theoretically, a tip is 15% of the total amount of the diner’s bill, therefore (so the thinking goes), the higher the bill, the higher the tip. This is where “up-selling” comes into play. The idea is to add to the diner’s bill in a rather indistinguishable way. For example, the customer orders a Margarita that is (forgive the 1996 prices) $3.50. The margarita is made with “bar” tequila (aka the cheap, generic brand). The waitress who is practicing “up-selling,” asks if you want a particular kind of tequila in the margarita. You say, “Cuervo Gold.” KA-CHING! That is premium liquor and now your $3.50 margarita is $4.25! All throughout your meal you are asked these questions: Do you want fries with that? How about a side of ranch dressing? Maybe dessert? Ka-ching! KA-ching! KA-CHING! All those little extras add up and without thinking about it, the customer gives a 15% tip on a bill that ended up being $36 instead of the $30 it could have been.

Even though I was a successful waitress, I was never comfortable with the practice of “up-selling.” I wasn’t afraid of working hard and even when I had a long night I could serve a table with a smile on my face and take home generous tips. I thought, and still think, “up-selling” is a not only a sneaky practice, but extremely pushy. I don’t like pushy people and didn’t want to be a pushy waitress. When I was a trainer, I would tell my trainees about “up-selling” and leave it up to them whether or not they wanted to do it.

Essentially, “Super or King Sizing” a fast food meal is a form of “up-selling.” Of course in such a “restaurant,” there is no waitress putting herself through college to benefit, only the corporation. So next time you think about super-sizing your Big Mac meal, remember they don’t care about your super-sized waist, only your incredibly shrinking pocket book.

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