The Photographer’s Eye
22 November 2004
I think it is time that I face the cold, hard facts: I am no photographer. Sure, I can take pictures and have four or five photo albums filled with my snapshots, plus a directory on my hard drive with tons of my digital photos, but a photographer I will never be.
I am a pretty creative person and in addition to cross-stitch and other crafts, I am a decent artist. I can sketch just about anything and I love to experiment with pastels and watercolors. I seldom dabble in artistic endeavors these days because I don’t have much room and that cats aren’t really as big of a help as they think they are, but I have been known to create things that I would proudly display in my home.
Which brings me to photography. I have always wanted to be an amateur photographer, taking my camera with me where ever I go and snapping fun, artistic shots as I go along. But it very seldom happens. In truth, I am not very comfortable taking my camera everywhere and often feel out of place when I stop and take a photo. And once I see the photographs that I have snapped, rarely do I feel that they have captured the moment.
I used to think it wasn’t my fault, but that of the camera. For the longest time I was too cheap to invest in anything more than a $35 35mm Kodak camera. I always dreamed of someday owning that fancy Canon with all sorts of accessories that Andre Agassi used to advertise, but when I looked at them, I could never afford one.
Eventually, my Kodak broke and since I wasn’t quite ready for the digital age, (at the time they were still too expensive) I bought a 35mm Vivitar with a nice zoom lens and everything. I actually have taken some pretty good pictures with that camera, but nothing that I consider the “artistic photography” that I desire. When I met A., I discovered he had one of those fancy Canons. He let me play around with it and explained what all the accessories did, but none of those photos ever really came out like I hoped either.
Finally, I moved into the digital age and thought I had finally found the perfect photographic medium. I had visions of finally taking my camera with me everywhere (after all it was pretty light!) and taking pictures as the mood hit me. And I did… for about a month and a half. The problem was, even though I was getting instant feedback and I could take lots and lots of pictures and delete the ones that I didn’t like, in my opinion, my photography didn’t improve.
Yesterday, at the Pinakothek der Moderne I had a goldmine of photographic subjects. I saw many things that I wanted to photograph and I tried, I really did. But when I got home, the pictures didn’t do any justice to the things I had seen, nor did they capture the feelings that I had had. And while I can’t see myself ever giving up on taking pictures, it was then that I came to the sad conclusion that I just don’t have the photographer’s eye that I wish for.
