Incoherent Scribblings

A couple of days ago, I took one of those goofy online quizzes, “What Kind of Intelligence are You,” or something to that effect. Unsurprisingly, my dominant intelligence came out to be linguistic intelligence: apparently I am good with words, whether they be written or spoken.

In addition to my own language, I speak two others, I love to read and write, for fun I study linguistics and try to learn dead languages like Latin and Ancient Greek, and two of my favorite reference books are The Linguistics Encyclopedia and The World’s Major Languages… yeah, I guess you could say I favor my “linguistic intelligence.”

But anyway… one of the questions on the quiz was, “Do you keep (or have you in the past kept) a diary?” (Not a blog, mind you, but a real honest-to-goodness diary) For this, my answer was no. I have attempted to keep a diary, but it never really has worked for me and I think I know the reason why: I don’t need to write down all of the trials and tribulations that are normally kept in a diary, because I talk them out.

No, I don’t pay someone so I can sit on their couch and talk to them about my daily life; instead, I discuss these things with myself. Yes, you read correctly: I talk to myself and I am not ashamed to admit it. I try not to talk out loud to myself in public, but when I am alone (which is a lot) you can hear one (and only one) voice ringing through my apartment, not only making statements or asking questions, but answering and having thoughtful discussions as well. In the past, I tried to cover it up by claiming I was discussing it with the cats, but for some reason no one ever really bought that excuse. (wonder why?)

Seriously though, I have talked to myself for as long as I can remember and I honestly think it is as good as a written diary as a way of thinking about things. I have solved many problems and had many inspirations this way.

You may currently be asking yourself (probably silently) whether or not I am crazy or if I really should be sitting on someone’s couch discussing this, but to answer this, I quote the immortal words of my father (who has also been known to talk to himself):

It is OK to talk to yourself.
It is OK to answer yourself.
It is only when you start asking yourself “Could you please repeat that?” that you have a problem!

The Stitching Blogger’s Question of the Week is: Obligation Stitching: Yes? No? Maybe?

Since I am a pretty selfish stitcher, I seldom stitch anything for anyone and therefore consider myself free of “obligatory stitching.”

In fact if you want to know my guilty little secret, most stitching that I give to other people on a whim are usually pieces that I originally did for myself but did not like the way they turned out. *blush* That being said however, I sometimes do do pieces for special occasions, but only because I want to and I don’t consider them to be an obligation at all. In all of my time stitching (6 years) I have only purposely stitched five things for other people: a wedding sampler for my mother’s second wedding, a baby sampler for my niece, fingertip towels for my immediate relatives last Christmas, a bookmark for my friend Susie, and now I am stitching a baby sampler for my friend Brooke.

But as a general rule, I stitch for myself and myself only and I am happy to keep it that way.

Tonight I was in the mood to stitch, but I didn’t want to work on any of the projects I am supposed to be working on. I haven’t yet bought all of the necessary items for “Stitcher’s Sampler,” and last night when I was doing one of my random web searches for free cross stitch patterns, I visited one of my old stand-bys: Kreinik. Most of the free patterns from there that I like I have already downloaded, but my visit jogged my memory for a pattern I already had: J.L. Aikman-Smith of Dragon Dreams’s “You are never too old for a Teddy Bear.”

I don’t have the Kreinik threads the pattern calls for, but I am making adjustments using DMC floss and think it will still turn out OK. The other adjustment I will make is to stitch the dragon’s teddy bear in cream instead of brown. I am doing this because I want it to represent my teddy bear Cocoa. Cocoa was once my white polar teddy bear, but time and love have faded him into cream.

In fact, Cocoa is such a special teddy bear to me, that until about two years ago, I still slept with him. Cocoa was one of the first things I ever bought with my own money. I saw him in the store my mom worked at when I was about 8 and wanted him very badly. It was a time when money was tight and Christmas was long over, so my mom told me if I saved my money, she would put him on lay-away. I scooped my neighbors’ sidewalks for 25 cents a pop all through late January into early March and finally, around Easter, I had saved the $8.00 to get my teddy bear. Because I had bought him with my own money, I appreciated him and eventually I grew so attached to him I couldn’t sleep without him. He went to college with me, to Paris, on countless job interviews, and slept in the bed with me for the five years my ex and I were together. He kept me company during the time I needed to heal from that ordeal and stayed by my side the first year my husband and I were together.

Finally, A. told me that if I needed a teddy bear to fall asleep, he would be it. Reluctantly, but as a necessary part of growing up, I put Cocoa in the closet and now I use A. as my “fall asleep” teddy bear. But sometimes when I can’t fall asleep, I feel homesick, or sad, I still cuddle up with Cocoa and I am a firm believer that, “You are never too old for a Teddy Bear.” And so, with all of that in mind, I begin to stitch this piece and when I am finished I will hang it in my bedroom as a reminder that while I may have to grow up, I never have to grow old.

(See progress pictures here!)