The Cost of a Dream

29 January 2005 21:53 blondelibrarian holidays & special occasions

I am from Small-Town, Iowa USA. During the last census the population of my hometown was around 1800 people. And as many of you know, when you are from a town that small, everyone knows everyone. I haven’t lived there for 12 years, but on occasion my mom still sends me news of home. It always starts with, “You remember so and so…” Sometimes I don’t, but most of the time I do.

Anyway, mom sent me an email yesterday in that vein. It concerned a guy that I (sort of) went to school with. (He was a couple of years older than me, I didn’t know him all that well, but I thought he was cute.) Apparently, he and his fiancée entered a “Win Your Dream Wedding Contest” and made it to the finals. I quickly scanned the information about how to vote for them, but what struck me was the paragraph the detailed the value of the potential prize. $17,000! Can you say, “HOLY COW!”? Because I sure did! (OK, maybe not those exact words, but something very similar.)

I know the contest is for a “dream” wedding and you can call me unromantic if you want, but… $17,000 For a wedding?! I was flabbergasted!

Maybe it says something about the priorities I had as a little girl, because I barely even thought about getting married and had no idea what kind of wedding I wanted. As a result, by the time A. and I decided to get married, the only thing I wanted was an enjoyable and simple affair. I didn’t want all the headaches or bills of planning something huge, so we decided to (semi)elope and headed for… where else? Las Vegas! Sure, we only stayed in Vegas 3 days, I got married in a $60 sun dress, all we bought A. was a tie, only five members of my family were in attendance, and Dad paid for dinner afterwards, but a good time was had by all.

Even though I may not have previously planned it, the day really was like a dream… and all for the reasonable price of about $1000!

As we approach Valentine’s Day, I hope those of you planning a wedding or hoping to plan one in the near future will remember that no matter what the cost, you will remember your (first) wedding for the rest of your life. Don’t let your dream turn into a nightmare of stress and debt.

4 Responses

  1. melinama Says:
    29 January 2005 at 22:44

    I read in the paper the other day that the AVERAGE price of a wedding is now $32,000. Mine cost a few hundred, so what does that say about the upper end?

  2. Elizabeth Says:
    29 January 2005 at 22:46

    I am SO with you on this! We were married 11 (gulp) years ago tomorrow in an Italian restaurant–a nice compromise for a Filipino American groom and a Jewish American bride, don’t you think? I wore a nice dress, he wore a blazer and jacket. Just our immediate family was there–though that was about 20 people.
    I am sick of women who want to get married for the sake of a big fancy wedding, but don’t seem to get that afterwards you are MARRIED. The fuss is over and the guy is still there.
    Recently I read something about “Cinderella” fantasy balls that Japanese women are paying big bucks for. Maybe we should start a similar industry in this country–it might bring down the divorce rate!!

  3. Anna Says:
    30 January 2005 at 22:48

    I don’t know about debt, but I can’t escape the stress part. Something about getting married in my “hometown” (it’s the longest my parents have lived anywhere, even though I was there physically only 3 years) and my mother playing wedding planner. I don’t live anywhere near there, my fiance doesn’t live there. Mom and her “network” of friends live there. And she’s been planning my wedding for YEARS. We’ve had fights about it long before I got anybody to pop the question and two since then - which was just a month ago! Sigh. It’ll be lovely and it’ll be Bill and I getting married, but the months leading up to it will DEFINITELY not be stress free.

  4. Lee Says:
    31 January 2005 at 02:22

    :-) How about from the male perspective? Was married in mid-60’s in Chicago. The reception was held (Mother of the bride’s choice) in the “then place” to have one. Was $10.00 per person, minimum 100. 150 were there. The price included ONE introductory drink, a LIVE band, and a wedding cake….and reasonably good food. It WAS a stretch financially but the only real hitch was the cake. On its trip from the bakery, the truck had an accident and the cake was not in good enough shape. SO they quickly dispatched another that arrived DURING the meal. The only problem was that it was still partially frozen and was difficult for us to cut. But had a good laugh!

    Nearly 33 years later our son married in the Chicago area. This time the bride’s parents “were REALLY in charge”! The selectd one of the many “marriage reception” “palaces.” This one held 6 at the same time, side by side, and the place looked like a fake Parthenon from outside. The meal they selected was $50.00 per person (more than one drink, canned dj and one more course). They too had 150. (You can do the math!) Upon entering the “palace” one had to search through 6 brides, 6 bridal parties to find THE room for you. It was a fairly reasonable evening: the room booked from 5 - 10! BUT at 10, at the height of having a good time, the lights came on full blast and the canned announcement: The party is over. Please leave. As we were frantically trying to collect the presents and leave, the wait/serving staff was cleaning tables SO fast that they took specially etched Waterford Crystal glasses off the bride’s table…….HAD to go back the next day and paw through the washed glasses to find them!
    Such lovely memories! :-)