Clue(less)
17 February 2005
Last week, I bought the DVD for the movie “Clue.” We watched it last night and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t as funny as ever. However, while we were watching it, I was reminded of the most amusing game of “Clue” I ever played.
I was 22 and had gone to visit my best friend (hereafter known as D.) and her husband (hereafter known as M.) for a couple of weeks. While I was there, we were sitting around one night (all fucked up I might add) and decided it would be a riot to play “Clue.” None of us had played it since our pre-teen years, but we all had good memories of it. Unfortunately, they didn’t have it on hand and we were too messed up to leave the house, so we put our plans for an intense game of “Clue” on hold.
The next day, D. and I just happened to be at Wal-Mart picking up diapers and milk for her two toddlers when we strolled by the toy aisle. Suddenly, we were reminded of our conversation the night before. “Let’s buy ‘Clue!’” D. exclaimed, “We can play it later tonight after the girls are in bed.”
After M. got home from work that evening and we were all good and “relaxed,” we got out the game. We played a couple of fun games, all the while getting more and more fucked up. Finally, we came to another game and it was my turn to put the “Who,” “Where,” and “With What” cards into the little “Clue” envelope. I did so and we commenced play.
Sometime into the game I thought I had everything just about figured out. I started getting antsy, but tried to keep my face and my comments from revealing that I was about to tell everyone “Who Done It.” I had the person (Professor Plum, if I remember right) and the room (the library), but for the life of me I couldn’t guess the weapon. So we played on… and on… and on.
Finally, something in my foggy brain clicked: The game should be over; somebody should have figured everything out by now. Silently, I conceded defeat and piped up, “I have the room and the person. Does anybody have the weapon?”
Both D. and M. replied, “Me too. But I don’t have the weapon either.”
Suspicious, we called the game a draw and looked into the envelope. The reason none of us had figured out the weapon was because there was no weapon in the envelope! Silly (and more than slightly messed up) me had forgotten to put one in there!
To this day D. and M. like to tease me about the most clueless game of “Clue” we ever played!
