Incoherent Scribblings

Desperate Housewife

I really need to buy a bathrobe. I have a one of those towels with straps that velcroes in the front from Victoria’s Secret that were all the rage a few years ago, but I do not now own, nor do I think I have ever owned, a bathrobe.

Now, why, you may ask should I state here in such a public manner that I need to buy a bathrobe? Well, I will tell you why.

It will be spring soon and then summer. I will put my long(ish) winter coat in the closet and when the doorbell rings between the ungodly hours of 9 and 11 am, I need to have something to throw on besides the afore-mentioned winter coat when I answer the door to receive my packages from amazon.de or my numerous cross-stitching shops. There is never an exact time when a package might arrive and so on more than one occasion I have been caught unprepared.

I do wear pajamas around the house, but not in bed, and because I enjoy my lazy housewife life, I seldom get up before 9:30 or take a shower before 10:30. And like clockwork, the doorbell always rings either before I have gotten out of bed or just after I have taken a shower. At both times I am scantily dressed at most and naked to say the least.

But, I have to have those packages! I could just ignore the doorbell, retrieve the little orange card that says they stopped by from my mailbox, and go to the post office later and I used to do just that. But somewhere along the line, my German got better and I was so desperate to obtain my English language novels or my newest cross-stitch charts that were there just waiting for me that I started answering the doorbell.

If the doorbell rang before I got out of bed I just threw my winter coat over the tank-top I sleep in. The delivery person didn’t usually even throw a glance my way. If the deliveries came later I would have to throw that coat on over the Victoria’s Secret towel, but it still didn’t raise an eyebrow.

Then yesterday, I had literally just turned off the water from my shower when the doorbell rang. Hastily wrapping a regular towel around me I answered the intercom and said that I would be just a moment. Slipping through the puddles that my dripping hair was leaving on the floor, I frantically ran around looking for my keys, donned my Victoria’s Secret towel on top of my regular towel, and eyed my coat. I was too wet to put in on, so I answered the door dripping hair and all.

The delivery man (normally it is a woman) was startled at my obviously fresh-from-the-shower appearance and apologized profusely. I squinted (I didn’t have my contacts in either) as I signed the dotted line and told him it was no big deal. However, my appearance must have flustered him because as he handed me my new cross-stitch package, he bid me goodbye in French!

Yep, I really think I need a bathrobe.