Incoherent Scribblings

The Birthday Basket

Over the weekend while I stayed home and took care of the cats, A. traveled to his parents’ house to get the winter tires put on the car. (We don’t have the room to store an extra set of tires here, so they are kept at the in-laws.)

Now as luck would have it, today is A.’s birthday. We won’t say exactly how old he is, but I think it is sufficient to say that he is pushing his mid-30s. Anyway, while he was at his parents’ his family apparently had a little birthday celebration for him. In addition to the traditional adult birthday present of money from his parents, he also received a birthday present from his brother and sister: A rather odd assortment of food-stuffs in a little wicker basket.

The first thing that struck me as odd about the birthday basket when A. showed it to me was the fact that it contained almost exclusively items that one could use while cooking. I found this funny because not only does his family know that I do all of the cooking, they also know that he can’t so much as boil water! Both his brother and sister cook as a hobby, so perhaps they were trying to drop him a hint, but the only thing it accomplished was that the birthday basket was re-gifted to me.

The other peculiar thing about the birthday basket was the variety of things it contained. Like most Germans, A.’s family does a lot of shopping at Lidl, Aldi, or some of the other discount markets here. However, unlike most Germans, A.’s family has the weird habit of buying the least useful things that are available at said markets. (This, in my opinion, is saying a lot because those markets are CRAP pure and simple.) I am not 100% sure where the items in the birthday basket were purchased, but I think it is safe to say that at least some of them were probably acquired at Lidl.

Now, I am sure you are dying to know what exactly the birthday basket contained, so here is the inventory:

2 Chocolate Bars

These were claimed (and eaten) by A.

1 Bottle Balsamic Vinegar

1 Bottle of Chinese Oyster Sauce (Product of Germany)

1 Bottle of Chili Oil (Product of Thailand)

1 Jar of Generic Peach Jam

1 Miniature Bottle of Truffle-scented Olive Oil

I must say I am intrigued by this particular product, and even if it sucks, it came in a really cool bottle!

1 Bottle of Canadian Maple Syrup

Product of Canada – or so it says… Only a taste test will tell for sure!

1 Bottle of Bullseye BBQ Sauce

Product of the USA… It even has an American nutrition label!

1 Kleiner Feigling

This is supposedly fig-flavored vodka: I have never tried it, so I can’t be positive.

1 Bag of Dried Mushrooms

And the oddest odd-ball of all… 1 Jar of Marshmallow Fluff!

Also a product of America, complete with nutrition label!

Amusingly enough though, the product that I found the oddest is the one that I might actually use: Because, you see, a long time ago I found that substituting marshmallow fluff for plain old marshmallows in Rice Krispie Treats works rather well. Therefore, if I can find some Rice Krispies I will be using that jar of marshmallow fluff to make some Rice Krispie Treats. And I am sure if I do end up making them A. will dismiss them as another one of my weird American creations, but no matter… I am used to eating those things alone by now anyway.

Of course now the question is what I will do with all of that other stuff that came in the birthday basket? Well, in six months let’s see just how much of it has been thrown into the trash!