The (Almost) Christmas Spirit
7 December 2005
Here it is the first day of Holidailies and I already feel like I have writer’s block! Technically, there is nothing that states you must write about the holiday season to participate, but that is the topic that has been buzzing around in my head today…
However, the problem is that normally I don’t do Christmas anymore. My aversion to Christmas started about 15 years ago when I was 16 and the one present that I asked for I didn’t get. That in and of itself wouldn’t have been such a big deal, except my little sister did get the presents she asked for! From that point until about five years ago I went through the motions of Christmas, but my heart was never really in it.
Then five years ago my relationship with Christmas drastically changed: Fed up with the materialistic overtones of the season and far away from my family without any holiday obligations, I stopped celebrating it all together. And honestly, I didn’t miss Christmas one bit.
But this year is a little bit different: While I am not looking forward to Christmas per say, I almost feel like celebrating the season. I believe that the reason that I am almost in the Christmas Spirit is a direct result of my impending visit back home. My trip is not scheduled (and purposely so) until after the holidays, but I think the prospect of seeing my family after such a long time has put me in a quasi-holiday mood.
Despite that, it has been so long since I have been in a holiday mood that I am not really sure what to do about it. I have no Christmas decorations save a string of dusty, half burnt-out Christmas lights to put up and I am not sure I want to go to the Christmas displays at the department stores and buy decorations for the season… After all, I believe that I am still a humbug at heart and even if my holiday spirit lasts until I make it home to see my family, I doubt that it will survive into the next holiday season.
