Incoherent Scribblings

Strange Library Patrons 101

Every library that I have ever worked in has had its share of unusual patrons. Some are annoying, others are weird but harmless, and some are just plain creepy.

West Texas Town University Library is no exception to this rule and after I learned the layout of the reference section and how we keep stats here, one of the first things I learned working at the reference desk was who these patrons are.

Overall, most patrons at the library are our students or are in some way connected to the university. However, since we are a public university we have a fair amount of public patrons who frequent the library as well. And while some of the people who are connected to the university are no less creepy than the ones who aren’t, the odd public patrons are some of the most easily spotted.

For example, there is the lady who wears too much blush and insists upon asking me every single time that I see her if I am really a librarian. She then proceeds to tell me that she moved to West Texas Town from California and wants to know where I am from, because she can just tell that I am not from Texas. She is a little on the loud side and can be annoying, but from what I understand is harmless as long as she takes her meds.

Then there is the man who spends all day in the library with his clip-on sunglasses flipped up and waits until we are almost ready to turn the photocopiers off for the day before he begins to make his copies. Apparently he has been a student at various points in the past and has studied everything from art to astronomy. He will stay in the library until the very last announcement and the lights are being flipped off before he grudgingly leaves for the night. He is a little weird and I have been told has been known to make people uncomfortable, but I have talked to him on occasion and I believe him to be one of the weird but harmless types.

And then there is Guitar Man. Guitar Man claims to be a musician and spends most of the day struggling with Microsoft Word in the futile attempt to create a song list. He plays guitar at the local bars and is one of those patrons who every time you help him you must demonstrate the magic of the double-click. He compliments me on my fluency with Word each time that I fix the mistakes he makes and in return has offered me free guitar lessons for life.

He lightly touched my shoulder once and though I thought it a bit creepy, he has never done anything that I considered overtly inappropriate… until today. Today in what I can only assume was over-enthusiasm for the magic that out student worker performed in rescuing his Word document from the black-hole of cyberspace, he kissed her on the cheek! She reported him and he has been given a warning and put on our “watch list,” but I have to say I was a little surprised she didn’t slap him for his actions.

Because if he ever invades my personal space again I just might…